Yesterday was my cousin's funeral....I didn't go.
I didn't go because I wasn't able to, I didn't go because I was selfish and didn't want to.
Sorry Aunt Patsy.
Last week Scot decided that mortality was more than he could handle and decided that he couldn't go on anymore. It made me sad that he felt like he didn't have any other choice and then it made me mad that he was selfish enough to think that he didn't have any other choice. You don't get to decide that. Life isn't easy...deal with it.
I have had more than one person assume I didn't go to the funeral to protect my children...protect them from what? Life? Stupid choices? Bad decisions? Family?
I feel time like these are what as a Mom I have to grasp on to. Guess what kids? Drug and alcohol addiction runs up and down our family tree. STAY AWAY from drugs. DON'T drink. EVER! Who you choose to be your friends will shape the kind of person you are. DON'T make stupid choices.
A couple of weeks ago I was able to go on a field trip with Big J. We visited a couple court rooms and listened to some court cases. One involved a murder over a drug deal gone bad. A 21 year old kid had thrown his life away one step at a time and now he didn't have a choice in what happens to him. Then we toured a jail that isn't being used right now. It was a jail that my brother had spent time in. I took Big J aside and shared that with him. All of sudden it wasn't so fun being in that jail and seeing the ugly side of life.
I hate that that is part of what I have to teach my children....on a very personal level.
I am grateful that I have the Gospel to fall back on at this time. I am grateful that I have direction with what I should teach my children. I am grateful that I don't only have to teach my children what not to do....but what they should be doing. I am grateful that I am not alone. I am grateful that I know my Savior lives and loves me. I am grateful that I know that I am a Child of God.
Now it is my responsibility to make sure my children know that also.