Yesterday we were able to go see our niece Baby Boo blessed.
As I was holding her something happened that has never happened before. I realized that I could hold a baby and not want another one for our family. This is a big deal for me. Of course I have had my tubes tied and Big Daddy has had the 'Big V', so there wasn't the chance we were going to have more kids, but I had never felt like our family was complete and every time I saw a baby I thought we needed to add to our family. I even brought up adoption. I have been known to cry at a newborn passing by me at Target. It was really bad. But I finally realized I am done. I have my family.
I will miss sweet newborn cries. I will miss sitting up in the middle of the night feeding a little one and enjoying the peace and quiet, just the two of us. I will miss having a little one fall asleep on my shoulder and feel that final total relaxation of sleep. I will miss getting to pick out clothes for my kids and making sure they all match (I know it is a sickness). I will miss getting to have snacks at church and saying they are for the babies. I will miss getting to sneak into bedrooms at night and kissing sweet sleeping kidlets. I will miss little ones wanting to hold my hand and not being embarrassed to hug me in front of other people. These things are happening too soon and it makes me sad.
On Sunday morning at Conference President Thomas S. Monson said, "If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly."
But there are some things I don't and will not miss. I will not miss changing diapers. I don't miss formula and look forward to not needing bottles. I can't wait to not be in a panic over a lost suckie (pacifier). I won't miss lifting and carrying another human being. I won't miss the screaming and crying for no reason - and don't remind me that I have to deal with that with pre-teen girls, because when they cry there is ALWAYS a reason. I won't miss not having a stroller in the back of the ol'burban. And I won't miss carseats.
Ham had spilled a bottle in his carseat and it was starting to smell pretty funky. So today when Big Daddy took the suburban to work so he could get the oil changed and get it washed (Thanks Big Daddy) it was the perfect time to pull out the carseat and booster seats and clean them.
Here is Ham's funky smelling carseat:
I think the milk that had been spilled was the least of our worries. This is what I found when I took the cover off:
I actually threw up in my mouth a little when I started cleaning it up.
How disgusting is that?
I don't know how Mr Moon is still smiling.
BTW - There will be no more granola bars in our suburban. I always thought Ham liked them. Apparently he just liked crumbling them and stuffing them down in his carseat.
I am pretty sure I won't miss that!