Today was 2 full work weeks since Big Daddy was laid-off. One whole pay period. Forty hours where he should have been at the office.
When he came home on the 8th we were pretty much just shell shocked. And then being the doer that he is Big Daddy got right to work taking care of everything that someone that doesn’t have a job has to take care of; like a new resume, unemployment benefits and calling a ton of people. While I kind of fell apart. I don’t do stress well. I would have a panic attack when it was time to do the laundry or brush my teeth or use anything -- because I was worried about using the whatever it was. Who knew when or how we would get more. Yes, I was a bit fatalistic in my thinking. That’s where my half-empty personality comes in to play. The first week was HORRIBLE. Very stressful. Then Sunday afternoon we had our home teacher, who is also in the Stake Presidency, come over to talk to us to see how we were doing. He is such a kind and wise man. He had been in a similar situation before and talked about some of the stresses and trials we might experience. And really said some things that we could relate too, already.
This week has been much calmer. We have a realistic picture of where we are. Big Daddy has talked to quite a few people and has some leads for jobs. And I am back to doing laundry without totally panicking, it doesn’t mean I enjoy it any more.
At one point I was pondering why we are going through this. I was trying to figure out why we were facing this trial at this very point in our lives…and most importantly trying to figure out what we should be learning. Maybe I thought if I knew what I was suppose to learn I could do it really fast and the trial would be over. Easy huh? So as I was pondering this I had the thought come into my mind that maybe this isn’t a trial, but a blessing. We weren’t going to be in the right place at the right time if Big Daddy was still working at his old job. At the right place and the right time for what? That I don’t know. But it should be interesting to find out.
But I would like to share a few things:
- Don’t ask me if we are going to be okay. I am wondering the same thing myself.
- I am not completely depressed. I thought I was, but I think I was just scared.
- When I say I am good, I might really mean it.
- Don’t avoid me. You can still say hi to me.
- Money is fairly tight, so maybe I can’t go to lunch with you. Unless you want to go on a picnic to the park with the kidlets.
- BUT if you are going shopping don’t be afraid to ask me if I would like to come along. Since I am not able to spend money on fun things it might be nice to at least see someone else be able to. If you did before, don’t stop now.
- Please don’t judge if you think that I have spent money. You never know if I have actually spent money or not.
- I am not embarrassed. If Big Daddy had been fired for stealing paper clip maybe I would be. But he wasn’t so I’m not.
- Humble pie isn’t all that bad, in small quantities.
There is no pride…only dignity.