So Ham was born early; not too early, just a little early. He came exactly 4 weeks before his due date. He did spend some time in the NICU; not very long, just a week. But since then he has been behind on those big milestones that Moms keep track of, and everyone asks about: Has he rolled over? Yes, but late. Is he sitting up by himself? Yes, but late. Does he cruise around the furniture? Yes, finally. Does he stand alone? No. Is he walking? Not even close. Since he was born early we have a nurse that comes every 3 months to evaluate him. She came the last time right after he turned 1. She did her evaluation of his physical development and asked me a few questions. She said that she thought he should be evaluated by one of the nurses that check for social and emotional developement. Nurse Anna came on Friday and did her evaluation. She watched how he interacted with me. She watched how he interacted with LaLa and Roo. She saw how when he gets upset he rocks and doesn't know how to calm himself. She asked me some questions, all the while checking things off on her clipboard. Then added up the numbers to my answers, I didn't know there where numbers that went with my answers! Finally she tells me that the cutoff (cutoff? - what cutoff?) was 48 and Ham scored a 65. I was relieved. He was well above the cutoff, wonderful right? Well not exactly, this is an evaluation where the lower the number, the better. She said the awful "A" word - Autism. And my heart started breaking... This is a long way from an official diagnosis, but a word you don't want to hear in relationship to your sweet, little boy. My mind has been racing all weekend. Now we have to wait until June for another evaluation. Do I want to wait? Should I rush into more evaluations? or should I relax and hope that in the next few months he starts doing more things that he should be doing and less of the things that he shouldn't be. I think I will just keep loving him for being Ham!